lucid dream

was lucid dreaming this morning between snooze alarm beeps. canoeing up the front of gigantic waves crying out oh $#!+ then down the other side. and i mean impossibly gigantic. i found i could control the size, temperature, and intensity with my mind.  thinking this next waves is going to be a nice warm gentle splash in the face. ( this shows that when circumstance thows big scary obstacles in our path, we can control how they effect us by our attitudes. coming on shore i thought to myself now there will be a nice freshwater lake to wash the salt off me and then there was. the next part was deeper and i lost the lucidity, it involved the yard flooding and children swimming and playing in the mud. must type more later...gotta get ta work...

the dream

childlike, broken open
the dream comes again
guilt anger pain
i want to do things differently
go back in time
in the dream
the house still sits
empty
waiting
and you are still alive
i advocate for your return
reading old love letters
written on scraps of paper
glued together from your collection
explain to liz how my mom did you wrong
years later another breakdown
i wake and worry
don't let me be next.

vermicular parasites.

Have been having parasite dreams again this week. last night we were on a bus, with z and my ma. people were setting up booths and selling things. we were looking at some bags and a jacket that imani was making, checking out her handywork, and z was interested in buying a bag to carry books, but i wasn't quite sure the design was rights for books and suggested maybe she could get something customized.  firewalker was there and when i asked how he was doing he said not well at all, as he still had vermicular parasites, in fact he was looking thin and pasty white.  hmmm.

homeland security

was training for some position vital to national security, did not follow the rules and got in BIG TROUBLE! go figure....

bobcat and piano

haven't been keeping up with my dreams lately, need to get back in the habit of writing them every morning.  when i work on it i usually remember them every night, when i let it slide they drift away.  however, i did see a bobcat in my dream last night. also, recently have been playing piano in my dreams, and i can remember seeing the music in detail and figuring out the notes. also need to get back in the habit of regular piano practice. so many hobbies... so many jobbies!

urban camping

gar, my sister? and i are moving in with my mom? into a big house in the suburbs that has separate apartments, but my space will be a large tent on a large covered patio.  i am ok with this, and am trying to get my things organized in a functional way, but i get snippy when i feel criticized based on my lack of feng shui. i say if i get criticized about feng shui one more time i will take my tent ant things and move far out to the wilderness away from all the humans! z is a kiddo eating a granola bar that is specially design to be good for kids teeeth. but she says " after this i want candy!" i am explaining to her that she will not be getting any. my mom brings me a gift. but it seems to be nothing but a box full of packing tissue confetti and candy wrappers. it rains and the tent leaks, mom is concerned about me seeing the neighbor in her lingerie, because we will be sharing a bathroom. i am more concerned about her getting tired of hearing us argue and what about my sex life... ugh... problems.

time travel

i was back in the 1930's i believe, and going shopping with damos at a neat little store. he was looking for ear baubles and finger bells, and he wanted to be sure the finger bells would fit well, but i explained that you just sew them to custom fit your fingers. didn't find it odd that he needed them. we were going to meet his family, and was worried that they wouldn't like him dating a white lady.